


When the Heart Speaks

by pendots



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Day One, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Victuuri Week 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:19:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9621962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pendots/pseuds/pendots
Summary: Victor Nikiforov, known to be one of the skating world's most skillful (former) bachelors, has recently realized he has a problem: he can’t quite manage to tell Yuuri Katsuki that he loves him.(Victuuri Week 2017 Day 1: Firsts. Prompt: Confessions.)





	

It had been a problem since the beginning, really.

“I’m going to help you win the Grand Prix Final!” he’d declared with a wink. Seeing the shell-shocked expression on Yuuri’s face when he had stood up had convinced Victor to spare him a bit, to not to lay it on much thicker than that. But he’d wanted to. He wanted to tell Yuuri, “I’m here now, just like you asked me to be!” He wanted to _confess_ exactly why he had dropped everything and arrived in little Hasetsu, Japan.

But something deep within Victor was still a little too nervous about accepting people into his heart, too fragile to let it happen without a more definite path before him.

So Victor kept it strictly to coaching and decided he would deal with confessing his _real_ reasons a bit later.

-

But later was going to take a while, it seemed.

Yuuri still jumped half a foot in the air every time Victor so much as walked into the room, not to mention the blush he tried—and failed—to hide every time Victor said something a little too flirty. Victor was puzzled and frankly discouraged, but he knew that the confident Yuuri he had seen at the banquet was still hiding in there somewhere.

Nevertheless, Yuuri still reacted like the world was ending when Victor assigned him the eros routine, but Victor remained pretty sure that Yuuri could make it happen, and could make it happen beautifully.

_You inspired this routine,_ Victor wanted to say. _Don’t you realize how amazing you are, how much you surprise me?_

But Yuuri still shuddered every time Victor put so much as a hand on his shoulder. No, Victor needed to start fresh before he started throwing out declarations that would only get blushingly dismissed.

-

But Yuuri kept surprising him, and he didn’t even seem to realize he was doing it.

“Victor is the first person I’ve wanted to hold onto!” Yuuri had declared emphatically, the tinny television speakers not doing the passion in his voice any justice. It didn’t matter how imperfect the sound quality was, though; Victor heard the words as if they had been spoken directly into his heart, into his soul. He stared at Yuuri as the skater pumped a fist into the air.

_There he is,_ Victor realized. _That’s a flash of the confidence I knew you had in you._

And now Yuuri was describing love as if Victor had brought it to him on a shining platter and introduced the concept to him alone, as if love was a brand-new star and Yuuri was the first one to see it. Victor had to remind himself to breathe out. He wished he could speak to the Yuuri on the television, tell him that _Yuuri_ was the first person that _he_ had ever wanted to hold onto, that Yuuri was inspiring him every single day.

Maybe he could, in his own way. Someday.

Victor pushed away all thoughts of Yuuri saying the word _love_ in any context about him and instead commented on Yuuri’s necktie, diffusing the tension that had risen in the room after Yuuri’s confession. Victor had felt all the eyes in the room glancing nervously at him; it was impossible not to notice how everyone had sucked in an apprehensive breath. Things focused solely back onto enthusiasm for Yuuri’s confidence.

Victor smiled gently down at Makkachin. _I wonder if I could get on national television and tell the world that Yuuri was the only person I wanted to hold onto?_

But, if he was honest with himself, Victor knew the answer to that question already.

-

As it turned out, Victor kissing Yuuri in front of the entire _world_ didn’t feel like such a hard thing to do.

In fact, it felt like the _only_ thing to do.

“This was the only thing I could think of to surprise you more than you’ve surprised me,” Victor said, his voice raw with emotion. An honest confession. Perhaps not the only one he wanted to share, no, but it was the right one for this moment. This moment that Victor had thought would never come.

And Yuuri’s eyes softened from the glistening shock that had possessed them. Yuuri smiled so warmly that Victor’s near-delirious excitement tried to convince him that the ice beneath them might melt.

God, his feelings for Yuuri... He wanted to say something more. Tell him how he felt. It was all so new, though; now was not the time to shock Yuuri again. Besides, Victor still didn’t know if he could do it. If he could put his heart out so easily.

It was okay, though. Victor knew he had time to work his way up to that now.

-

Yuuri was enveloped in Victor’s arms like that was the only place he belonged and Victor could not agree more.

Which is why Victor was a bit startled when Yuuri suddenly broke free of their embrace, holding Victor at arm’s length. The separation that had unexpectedly come along with the Rostelecom Cup was urging Victor to hold Yuuri close again. _No, come back!_ Victor wanted to complain, but his whine died in his throat when he saw the determined frown pulling at Yuuri’s mouth.

“Please take care of me until I retire!”

Victor felt his heart shuffle shyly in his chest. How was it possible that on some days, Yuuri could blush at Victor’s compliments or stammer under Victor’s gaze, while other days he pulled Victor down by the tie or informed Victor he wanted to be with him for the whole of the foreseeable future?!

_I love you,_ he wanted to say. The realization hit him like a fall on the simplest of jumps: he should have realized it at take-off, but he didn’t truly feel it until he hit the ice. It didn’t feel the same as a flubbed jump, though, not as painful or freezing cold. No, this realization felt warm, nerve-wracking but beautiful.

And Yuuri was still looking at him with that glint in his eyes, the kind of resolve that Yuuri channeled right before he began his best performances. Victor smiled, gently taking Yuuri’s hand and placing a kiss there, hoping he could convey every single emotion he felt. It wasn’t clear enough—Yuuri deserved to hear it clearly—but Victor knew it worked for now, while they were still raw from missing each other so desperately.

“It almost sounds like a marriage proposal,” he joked-not-joked. Just like his necktie comment, though, it sucked all the tension from the atmosphere. Comfort replaced the tension and they were hugging once more.

“I wish you’d never retire,” Victor whispered, and he meant it. Because then he could stay by Yuuri’s side forever, and that was as close to a confession as he could get right now.

When he felt Yuuri’s tears on his shoulder and the tremble in Yuuri’s grip, Victor convinced himself that Yuuri had at least gotten part of the message.

-

But had he, though?

Yuuri was saying he wanted to end things, that he wanted to retire. This was not how things were supposed to go. There had been rings, and _promises_ , and Victor had finally driven up the nerve to be at Yuuri’s side forever and _tell him_ how much he meant to him.

But Yuuri was thanking him for everything he had done. Past tense. No future.

Victor hadn’t cried for a long time, but he couldn’t stop himself now. “Damn it,” he whispered, because what else was he supposed to say? How could it turn out like this? Yuuri had told him he’d wanted to talk to him later, and Victor had felt hope coursing through him, hoping this was _the moment_ where he could finally tell Yuuri that _L word_ he had found with him.

That wasn’t how things were turning out.

But after a day of watching over Yuuri, silent and brooding over his future, Victor finally saw a spark again. “How is it that you haven’t gotten a single gold medal yet?” The words were teasing, tentative, but Victor saw his opening and took it.

Yuuri still wanted Victor to be himself. Victor still wanted Yuuri by his side. For this moment, with Yuuri’s smile back on his face and his shaking arms around Victor once more, Victor knew he still had a chance.

After the Grand Prix Final, nothing was ending. Victor knew that no matter where Yuuri placed, he would tell him. Confess. Convince Yuuri to see, to understand how much Yuuri had done—no, _was doing_ —for Victor.

Victor cried again, but this time it was caused by the joy of seeing the man he loved showcasing his love to the entire world one final time.

-

But it wouldn’t be the final time.

No, Yuuri hadn’t won gold, but Victor couldn’t bring himself to feel anything but excitement towards their future. _Together_. They would still be together, Victor knew that now.

He took Yuuri’s hand in his, seeing his eyes and costume shine in the dim lights. Yurio was leaving the ice and the speaker was already calling Yuuri’s name for his exhibition skate, but Victor was rooted in this moment. Yuuri smiled at him, that warmth back in his eyes, and he squeezed Victor’s hand.

“Ready?” Yuuri breathed.

Victor let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in. “I’m supposed to ask you that,” he teased.

Yuuri was skating to center ice mere heartbeats later, and Victor found himself impatient to join him. Now wasn’t quite the time, Victor knew; they were both too focused on their pairs performance, the performance that would truly demonstrate their love to the world. But he knew he could say it now. He could tell Yuuri. He could confess.

“I love you,” he murmured. He couldn’t even hear himself speak over the flowing beauty of “Stammi Vicino,” its harmony completed at last by Yuuri’s presence. But the words felt good on Victor’s tongue. He felt ready to say them. In fact, he wanted to say them all the time.

Instead, he smiled serenely and lost himself in Yuuri’s embrace on the ice, basking in the feel of being there with him.

-

It took until their first night in St. Petersburg to finally tell him.

Victor had resolved to say it on the bridge, Yuuri running towards him with Makkachin by his side, but he had been silenced by a crushing hug and a bruising kiss. It was the kind of kiss that made fireworks explode in his stomach and Yurio make gagging noises behind them. The moment had been too overwhelming, so beautiful in its own right that Victor couldn’t bring himself to utter more than Yuuri’s name during the whole encounter.

But now they were alone, lying in bed with Makkachin snuffling softly in his sleep at their feet, and they were settled in comfortable silence. Yuuri’s hands were held tightly in Victor’s, or perhaps Victor’s hands were held tightly in Yuuri’s; differentiation didn’t matter now. Yuuri was right beside him on their first step into the future.

“I love you,” Victor whispered into the quiet. In the silence, his whisper seemed loud, or perhaps it was the lurch of his heart that had made it feel so booming. He hadn’t worked his way up to it at all, had just felt it in the moment, had taken to whispering it beneath his breath when he couldn’t gather the courage to say it directly to Yuuri. He held his breath, stared at Yuuri’s face, and tried not to look too expectant.

Yuuri smiled, that warmhearted smile that Victor had fallen in love with so early and so hard. Yuuri pulled him a little closer, pressing his forehead gently to Victor’s. “I love you, too,” he said back, and with such ease that Victor knew that Yuuri had known for a long time. “You’ve been telling me you loved me for ages now, Victor. Maybe not in so many words,” he kissed Victor gently, as if reminding him, “But I’ve felt it all the same. You knew that I’ve loved you for a long time, too, right?” A gentle note of nervousness floated around Yuuri’s question.

Victor kissed him. “Yeah,” he confessed. And he said it again, just because he could and because he had wanted to for so long, had finally had the nerve to say it and wanted to say it on every breath he took from here on out. “I love you.”

And Yuuri responded again, the second time of many to come. “I love you, too.”


End file.
